TV and radio meteorologists suck

If you are on television or radio and your responsibility is to forecast the weather, you are no longer a "meteorologist."

• You are an actor.
  
• You are paid to stand in front of a chroma-key in an empty suit.
  
• You change your forecasts frequently, then play back the one that was correct to say "I told you so."
  
• You are there to get me to "stay tuned," or at the very least, "check back with us frequently for updates."

If the floppy shoes and the big, red nose fit, wear 'em, because henceforth you are officially a "Weather Clown."
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Better than celebrity sleaze, wars, sports news and killings, television news directors know that the weather can be depended on to get people to tune in. It affects us every day, and we want to know ahead of time what we'll be dealing with as we drive into work.
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Send in the Weather Clowns.
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When I woke up this past Saturday morning, I flipped on the TV to have the Weather Clown Nation tell me that I could expect 3 to 4 inches of sleet and snow, maybe even up to seven inches! Naturally, I was instructed to "stay tuned for the 12 and 6 o'clock news to stay informed," but that was really unnecessary since one station went all snow, all day and kept the morning newscast on well into the afternoon, only stopping when it became painfully obvious that everything was melting the second it hit the ground.
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Send in the Weather Clowns.
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If you want to get away from these panic artists, bookmark the National Weather Service forecast page for your area. Their home page is here. I have found them to be about 80 percent right, which is about twice as good as the average Weather Clown.

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And where are the clowns?

Quick send in the clowns,

Don't bother, they're on TV and radio.
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What's in my mp3 player?

Alicia Keys, No One
Sara Bareliies, Love Song
Jordin Sparks, Tattoo
Fergie, Clumsy
Matchbox Twenty, How Far We've Come

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SEPARATED AT BIRTH?

Styx tribute band's James Young (left) and Eileen Brennan